Caveat Emptor: Land of Yajeev Blogxposé

I take no pleasure in what I am about to tell you, but the truth (even (/especially) scandalous truth) must be told. At the risk of being mistaken for Hard Copy or A Current Affair, I present to you one of the more troubling scandals the blogosphere/ onlineauctionosphere has seen in recent memory.

Several months ago, I brought to your attention a unique investment opportunity. eBay user lazyjoecox put up for auction the extra hour he gained in last fall's time change. Below is the pitch he used to lure unsuspecting bidders:

Ready for an amazing deal!!!! I am putting an hour of my life up for sale. As you know, this weekend time changes and an hour is gained. Instead of using my extra hour for fun and festivities, I am willing to sell it to you. Once I receive payment, I will mail you a certificate which certifies that YOU now own my hour. As you can tell from my picture, my time is very valuable. Don't worry if purchase is made after the time change, because I will not be using my hour. I am saving it for you!!!! Good luck bidding!!! Use wisely.

Despite my efforts to own lazyjoecox, if only for an hour, I lost the auction fair and square. Or so I thought.

The Land of Yajeev has learned (via a trusted, independent source*) that the auction was a hoax. Sad, but true: lazyjoecox's fiancée was the "highest bidder" and would have been no matter what the highest bid was--she would always outbid the leading offer. Moreover, no transaction ever actually took place! No money changed hands, no certificate was mailed (as had been advertised) or even created, and there is no evidence that this extra hour was transferred from lazyjoecox's possession.

Remarkably, lazyjoecox boasts an impeccable member feedback profile, with a 100% positive feedback rating! I wouldn't be surprised, though, if each of the supposedly independent eBay members with whom he has transacted was actually his fiancée with a different online pseudonym. "chucknbecky", "baldguy0722", and "empire_liquidators", might actually be noms de plume of the future Mrs. lazyjoecox.

To what end was this deception concocted? What heartless man would execute such vainglorious chicanery? Who would offer 60 minutes of himself to the neediest, highest bidding soul only to cling even more tightly to his supposedly superfluous moments?

Why would someone do this? There was no monetary gain (unless he, by his faux magnanimity, endeared himself to bidders of future auctions). I see no likelier explanation than this: he did this because he could. To display (if only to himself) the power that he holds over the mass of groundlings huddled together, clamoring at his feet just for his one extra hour. An hour which, like a mirage, at first shimmered, but then disappeared the closer one was to it.

I am troubled.








* lazyjoecox

If you'd like a second extra hour this time change...

You can purchase an hour from the life of ebay user lazyjoecox.





He has made the following sales pitch:

Ready for an amazing deal!!!! I am putting an hour of my life up for sale. As you know, this weekend time changes and an hour is gained. Instead of using my extra hour for fun and festivities, I am willing to sell it to you. Once I receive payment, I will mail you a certificate which certifies that YOU now own my hour. As you can tell from my picture, my time is very valuable. Don't worry if purchase is made after the time change, because I will not be using my hour. I am saving it for you!!!! Good luck bidding!!! Use wisely.

There is something of a bidding war raging over the rights to lazyjoecox's 60 precious minutes (my highest offer thus far has been significantly surpassed). At the time of this posting, the leading bid is $1.00, having skyrocketed 100-fold from earlier this morning: the opening bid was a paltry penny.

Back-of-the-envelope calculations can place an approximate value on the life of lazyjoecox. As an American male, lazyjoecox can be expected to live to the ripe old age of 77.6 years. Given 24 hours in a day, 365 days in a year, and 77.6 years of life (adding 20 leap year days), that's 680,256 hours. At $1 per hour (the going rate as of 11:35 pm), his life is worth nearly $700,000. If the bid increases to $1.47, lazyjoecox should feel like a million bucks.

Reassuringly, lazyjoecox has an extraordinary 100% positive feedback rating... so you know you'll get that hour expeditiously and in pristine quality.

With six days remaining, there is still time to place a bid (if you're interested, click here).

NOTE: After completing this post, I placed a new bid and am currently the highest bidder at $1.25 (bringing the value of Mr. lazyjoecox's life to $850,320.

Falling back once again...

If you've been reading my blog for over a year, you will find this post to be a reiteration of a staunchly held policy opinion.

When it came time to moving the clocks back one hour last year (the so-called "Fall Back"), I presented a rather wordy exposition of my firmly held beliefs on Daylight Savings Time practices.

I was recently perusing another fine blog, A Blogger Around the Clock, and came across an entry highlighting recent studies which indicated that the seemingly innocuous one-hour time change may have longer-term effects than previously believed.

I, of course, used the comments section of this entry as an opportunity to share the time-changing truths I hold to be self-evident.

Then, a week later, I performed a routine vanity Google search for "yajeev" (no, Google, I did not mean rajeev, thank you very much) and found that my quote had been picked up by anthropologist and professor John Hawks and featured in his excellent blog. He tagged my comments as "humor", but I will forgive him for this small oversight.

I am honored, and I direct you here to my stump speech (much abridged from last year's version).

And, remember to turn your clocks back Saturday night. You'll have an extra hour for sleep (or keeping up with my blog).