Thursday, February 19, 2009


On my way home from work last night, I hit an icy patch of highway and my car spun out of control. Supposedly, your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Here is what went through my mind in the five seconds of spinning, careening, and repeated guard rail slamming.

uh oh... this can't be good... wonder if i'll make it home in time for lost... i hope the unopened chocolate bar in the passenger seat survives this ordeal... i'm due for an oil change in another few hundred miles... i'm hungry... what does a yeast loving cow say? schmoo! i better not repeat that joke outside the yeast community... no one will get it... wish i had something to blog about haven't updated for a while... ouch hit a guardrail... i wonder what bark's made of... no, but i'll have a diet coke... andrew bird sure can whistle what a songbird... lips are chapped... what's for dinner?... i miss tee ball... i haven't been to a zoo lately... sorry folks park's closed moose out front shoulda told ya... would be pretty sweet if the cavs acquired shaq... 4 8 15 16 23 42... if 42's the answer, what's the question?... when you're ready let me know i'll be waiting to make arrangements for the trip... ouch guardrail again... coming to a halt... in the middle of the highway... putter to the shoulder... breathe...

Thankfully, the stretch of highway was strangely empty when this transpired such that my car and the guardrail were the only casualties of this misadventure. I was protected from serious injury, walking away with minor back pain.

In reality, it is true: my life did pass before my eyes. As I spun out of control, I saw bright white lights and my wife's beautiful face. I said to myself, "This is it," expecting all to cut to black in a flash. There was no time to be scared. It would be over soon.

A moment later, I was sitting in my car straddling two lanes with a cliched white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. I was stunned to be conscious and breathing after two dizzying twists and two loud bangs. I maneuvered the metal and fiberclass cage in which I sat to the side of the road and waited for help. Miraculously, I live to blog again.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Mooving on

Dear cows of Chick Fil A,

By now, you have no doubt noticed that I have become an official Facebook fan of the quarter pounder with cheese from your beefy competitor, McDonald's. I want to assure you that, truth be told, I'd prefer a Chick Fil A #1 value meal any day of the week (except Sunday) over the competition's burgers. It's just that you are nowhere to be found in all of New England. There are rumors that you are in one location near Boston and that you have a presence at a single amusement park in the Northeast, but there is no Chick Fil A haven within a realistic driving radius of Hartford.

It doesn't have to end this way, but you will need to make an extra effort. I will be more than glad to meet you half-way. Heaven knows I've spent many sleepless nights on behalf of our relationship. Were you to open a store within 40 miles of Hartford, I would happily make the trek (not every day--perhaps twice or thrice per week). The wife and I already make such a commute for each of our current jobs. We'd certainly drive as far for waffle fries and the best milkshakes in the biz.

Happy belated Valentine's Day, Chick Fil A. My heart will always be yours, but, for now, my stomach belongs to McDonald's. The nugget is in your court.


Friday, February 6, 2009

Pork barell

For lab meeting snacks this morning, one labmate provided bagels and bacon cream cheese. Since then, I have been unable to get bacon out of my head. No matter which way I turn, bacon beckons me. Even as I have attempted to conduct my daily lab business, bacon confronts me on all fronts.

Check out a few of the links below to see how my day has proceeded in HD bacovision.

(thanks a lot to blitz and rt for filling my stomach and mind, respetively, with bacony goodness)

Sunday, February 1, 2009

A picture is worth XLIII words

courtesy of

Super Snub

Somehow, I was not included in Sports Illustrated's recent online feature profiling celebrities and their Super Bowl picks. Which may, in the long run, be for the best... I don't want to be the jinx that costs my team the Lombardi Trophy.

So, rather than make an official Super Bowl prediction, I will merely report to my readers that I endorse the rational judgment of President Barack Obama, Howard Stern, Artie Lange, John Legend, Crystie Stewart, Patrick Dempsey, Julie Henderson, Tito Ortiz, Jessica White, Judah Frielander, Keith Olbermann, Wolf Blitzer, Misty May-Treanor, Kerri Walsh, Clyde Drexler, Tommy Davidson, Mike Alstott, Marcellus Wiley, Bobby Labonte, Jim Florentine, Abby Brammell, Chris Johnson, Matt Ryan, Matt Forte, Steve Slaton, Myron Rolle, and Deron Williams. That's 28 out of 40 celebrities. Would have been 29 out of 41 had my vote been recorded.

Perhaps next year the Super Bullies at will recognize the broad reach of the Land of Yajeev and consider my opinion in their VIP Big Game forecasts.

PS: Yes we can!