Monday, November 19, 2007

With (imaginary) friends like these...

...who needs real ones?

My previous post about imaginary friends has ignited an unanticipated firestorm of impassioned responses from Co-worker’s (imaginary) bus friends. Several of them have emailed me. I’ve obtained their permission and here present what they have sent. Names have been changed to protect the invented. For full context, please read the original post. It’s getting rave reviews, primarily from imaginary friends (mine and otherwise). These notes were so amusing (and so sad) that they require little comment on my part, but I thought Co-worker's (imaginary) friends ought to have the chance to defend their constitution before my readership. I report; you decide. You be the judge.

This is the first one I received:

Hi folks - here's my response to Co-worker's "imaginary" co-worker!! :)

Hi Yajeev:

I just wanted you to know that Co-worker is not (at this time) living in a fantasy land. I am actually one of her bus buddies (actually, I am the Martini Lady on the bus). Co-worker is absolutely correct about the noise we make and how much fun we have. This is really a great bunch of people and we've made a lot of good friends over our treks into town and Oakland. If it wasn't for our bus buddies, our trips would be boring. You should come and ride with us sometime. I'm sure you'd consider moving out to the Moon area just to ride the bus with us!!!

By the way, I have a 5 year old grandson who has two imaginary friends called "Meat" and "Grape". He will sit and talk to them just like they're in the same room with him. At one point, we weren't sure if this was normal, but someone told my daughter that it is very natural and is a sign of intelligence. So, I have therefore accepted Meat and Grape and hope someday my intelligent grandson will be paying for my old age home!!!

Thanks for sharing your concerns about Co-worker, but let me reassure you that she is very sane at this stage of her life. I can't speak for the past or the future, but her present is bright!!


The Martini Lady

Shortly thereafter, I received this email:

Hi Yajeev,

I'm "Belly Dancer" and I assure you I am not in her imagination. She is totally "sane" as far as that word can be described and as the Martini Lady said, we have a lot of fun at what would otherwise be totally boring. Hope we can meet you some day - or are you a figment of her indagation too?

Belly Dancer

Also Tastefully Simple lady (I have many personalities - oops, maybe I'm insane)

Next, one of the imaginary friends emailed the group of faux friends.

Hi all,

I think we should let Yajeev and Sudoku Woman write a book about our bus buddy escapades; then we can publish it, make a mint, and retire to our never, never land of imagination. Come to think of it, I remember having an imaginary playmate named Cindy who became real.......We'd better watch out.


That was nice. Thanks, "Minty".

Finally, "Sudoku Woman", clearly the voice of reason in Co-worker's mind, chimed in.

Co-worker's a whacko - she created all of these fake email addresses and has been responding to them herself. Belly dancers? Martinis? On the bus??? I think not!

I'm surprised she hasn't gone on about hooch parties and food fests. I even heard once (and this is truly sad) that she MET her bus buddies after work FOR DINNER - dragging her poor husband along (he had no idea things had gotten this bad). Imagine when she requested "Table for 8 please" and assured the host that "they're coming".

A good idea would be to move her from the 28K to the Western Psych Express (the good part being that this is ACTUALLY an express bus and doesn't stop anyplace else on the way).

Sudoku Woman
(I exist - but sit quietly keeping to myself because she got me hooked on these stupid SUDOKU puzzles. I'm also 5'11", 135lbs, with perky boobs and excellent skin.)

Receiving these notes made my job as a bloggist easy: change the names, copy and paste. Many thanks to Co-worker and her alter egos for their whimsical contributions.


Avery Gray said...

Wow! Did she create separate e-mail accounts for all these people? And how did Belly Dancer know what Martini Lady had said? Was this a group mailing? Fascinating!

Velvet said...

I've enjoyed your "imaginary friends" posts, both because they were entertaining and because the first one provided an opportunity to piggyback off of your blog with two related stories on my own.

The second one is up now. Welcome to bizarro-world.