Mor chikin!

Their unending generosity has earned our local Chick-Fil-A the first ever Land of Yajeev Best Free Stuff Award.

As if I haven't already collected enough from the poultry peddlers without paying for it (click here and here for some awesome chickeny adventures that resulted in literally years of free chicken sandwiches), Ron, Rose, and the other kind folks at CFA Unit#01583 are providing a fine, fowl breakfast spread for the members of my lab this Friday. Gratis.

As we prepare to move, our hearts are most saddened by the fact that not a single Chick-Fil-A cow or smiling "my pleasure" robot can be spotted anywhere in our new home state.

Thank you, Chick-Fil-A.



I am pictured here with close, personal friend, Dan Cathy, Chick-Fil-A President and Chief Operating Officer, son of Chick-Fil-A Founder S. Truett Cathy at one of several Grand Openings of regional Chick-Fil-A free-standing units I've attended in the past four years (each resulting in fifty-two free value meals).



Would you or your company like to be considered for the Land of Yajeev Best Free Stuff Award? It's easy! Simply email your request and the proposed free stuff you'd like to send me to landofyajeev@hotmail.com or leave your ideas in the comments section.



Eat Mor Chikin cow image accessed from www.chick-fil-a.com.
Land of Yajeev Best Free Stuff Award image courtesy of Wife of Yajeev.

The cutest con artist ever

I find myself once again blogging live from the Pittsburgh International Airport. I have spent the previous hour waiting patiently at my departure terminal, checking my email and the news over an airport McDonald’s breakfast. As per usual, I took extra care to order breakfast items that are accompanied by Monopoly game pieces. I peeled the game pieces from my food and set them carefully on the chair next to me. (To read about our other adventures in McDonald’s Monopoly, click here or here or here).

As I ate and surfed the web, a little girl, approximately 1-2 years old by my best estimation, began to walk around the boarding area, surveying the crowd for individuals with McDonald’s game pieces. She too had eaten at McDonald’s this morning with her father and had 4 pieces in her little hands.

She found two other McDonald’s Monopoly players and initiated a game of switcharoo, amusing herself to no end by picking up one person’s game pieces and delivering them to another in the boarding area. This went on for 20 minutes or so. I watched in horror as this miniature monster unknowingly tampered with my chances of winning big. On the inside I was piping mad, but on the outside, I participated joyfully, oohing and ahhing at the cute little princess waltzing around the airport. I did not want to be the bitter grown-up who refused to entertain the whimsy of small children for a miniscule chance at a major payday (which I feel is, of course, in all actuality, my birthright).

As the game progressed, the little girl’s father grew impatient with her, and he beckoned her, speaking in a foreign language. The girl was unresponsive to her father and continued to trade the extraordinarily low odds of each Monopoly player with the others.

Finally, when the girl, whose name I finally gathered to be Hannah, would not cease flirting with would-be passengers of US Airways 6651, her father stood up, marched over to her, took her hand in his and circulated around the boarding area, collecting all of the game pieces from the passengers with whom Hannah had cavorted. He then proceeded to slide the game pieces into his pocket, apologizing, in broken English, for the disturbance his daughter had caused.

It was at this moment that I realized I had been conned. This father and daughter duo had just scammed everyone at Gate B38 out of their game pieces! I bet they’re not even on my flight. When my aircraft begins to board, they’ll probably slip over to another gate and repeat the whole charade.

I’m onto them. It is unconscionable for a grown man to employ his own daughter in such an unethical (yet brilliant) scheme.

I wonder if they need a third partner.

Just Visiting

If you read my previous post, you know just how jazzed I am about the Monopoly game at McDonald's.

Among the game pieces my wife and I enthusiastically peeled from our healthy dinner items last night was a free breakfast sandwich. I intended to use that coupon this morning.

At 5:00am, I pulled into the McDonald's drive-thru.

""Welcome to McDonald's. Can I help you?"

"Yes, I have a coupon for a free breakfast sandwich I'd like to redeem. I'll have an Egg McMuffin and--"

"We don't accept coupons."

"No, it's a Monopoly game piece."

"Sir, we no longer accept any coupons. Can I take your order?"

"But I got this here yesterday!"

"We no longer accept any coupons."

"Since when?"

"Since today."

"Why?"

"New rules."

"What!?"

"Can I take your order?"

Irked and bemused, I ordered an Egg McMuffin, hash brown, and a large coffee and pulled up to the window. The drive-thru attendant asked for some amount of money. I wasn't paying attention to the sum and handed the young man my credit card. After some time, he returned my card with my breakfast. I pulled forward and checked my order before I hit the road. There was no Egg McMuffin in my bag or on my receipt.

I put my car in park and walked into the restaurant.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, I was just in the drive-thru. I ordered an Egg McMuffin and never received it."

"No you didn't."

"Yes, I did. I wanted to redeem my free breakfast sandwich coupon."

"We don't accept coupons."

"Yes, we've had this conversation already."

"I'd like an Egg McMuffin."

"But you didn't order one."

"OK. I'm ordering it now."

"We don't accept coupons."

"I know." Pause. Deep breath. "I would now like to place an order and pay for an Egg McMuffin."

The McD's employee stood in place, confused. The manager stepped in and completed my order. After a five-minute wait, she handed me an Egg McMuffin. I extended my credit card.

"No, sir. This one's on the house."

Free breakfast sandwich. And I still have my (now apparently worthless) free breakfast sandwich game piece.