Where's the beef?

Today, I did a very grown-up thing.

Succumbing to peer pressure (the rest of my lab was eating there), I ate lunch at a vegetarian Indian restaurant.

All veggies. No meat. Not even bacon.

"It's not like you eat meat at every meal," one of my co-workers (the one who picked the lunch spot) had said to me. Pause. Then she asked, "Do you?"

After some thought, I replied, "Not every meal. Usually not for breakfast. But for lunch..."

"If you can't find something you like, I'll buy you a burger afterwards."

"Deal."

I managed to order the meatiest non-meat item on the menu: fingerling potatoes in tomato curry with giant hollow fried balls of bread. It was the meat and potatoes (sans meat) of Vegetarian Indian cuisine. It shocks me to see these words appear on my screen, but I must admit that it was delicious.

I might even go back. Though next time, I'll probably smuggle in some meat (like my dad smuggles his Atkins' diet-approved bread into sandwich shops).

Top 10 reasons I don’t eat vegetables

10. When I misbehaved as a child, my parents would hang me by my toenails over a boiling vat of pea soup.

9. Gourds are people, too (or are they?).

8. I have a recurring dream where I am being interrogated by a giant water-boarding cucumber.

7. Have you seen the way they treat those veggies in the patch…? the close quarters, living in their own filth, etc. Come on, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Asparagus).

6. Saving room for desert.

5. My dad told me eating my broccoli would put hair on my chest.

4. El nino.

3. I have long suspected a connection between greens and al Qaida.

2. I have a genetic condition predisposing me to ultrasensitivity to the bitter taste associated with most vegetables.

1. The school bully used to pelt me with brussel sprouts at recess.

I guess beggars can be choosers

On my commute home I often drive by individuals holding cardboard signs declaring their homeless and hungry status. When I have food in my car, I typically share it with them.

Today, I drove by one such individual. I rolled down my window and offered the only edible item I had with me: a baggie of baby cut carrots.

The man eyed me suspiciously, grabbed the baggie from my hand, and began to walk away. I began to roll up my window when the man turned around. When I rolled my window back down, he thrust the carrots back into my car and declared: "I don't eat carrots," followed by an attitude laden: "Psssh!"

Guess I can't blame him. I don't eat carrots either.


Originally Posted: Tuesday, November 10, 2006
(Then) Curent Mood: okay
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