Day 2, and still blogging

This is probably the last thing I should be doing right now, but I'm just signing in to give all of the loyal LOYers (Land of Yajeev'ers) a brief update on the new job...

My co-workers are quite friendly, but I am still overwhelmed by the newness of my situation and the mass of material I need to both comprehend and produce in a short period of time... but as has been historically the case for me, the degree to which I am caffeinated reflects the degree to which I feel up to the task. Unfortunately, compared to my previous lab, this lab actually enforces the rules: no drinking coffee at the bench. Bleh.

So, like the nicotine fiend who has to sneak out for an hourly cigarette break, I am the caffeinaholic that requires his regular fix to make it through the day. This might be a problem for long-term success.

I'd blog more but I'm supposed to be working.

And I need some coffee.

At least I'll be caffeinated

I start a new job tomorrow.

Fortunately, the wife bought me a new coffee pot. Compared to our previous brewing machine, this one is sleeker, shinier, and futuristicker. I haven't read the instructions yet, but it may double as an mp3 player, protein gel transfer apparatus, or time machine--there are lots of shiny buttons.

Hopefully, I can forestall the occurrence of work-related mishaps so characteristic of my very existence at least until I've endeared myself to the new boss and batch of co-workers... I've found that endearment prior to mishappening makes the latter much less awkward (though perhaps less bloggable as well).

Here goes nothing.

coffee pot broken

this morning everything foggy head hurt watery eyes confused

need caffeine systems shutting down control alt delete help

must find coffee need soon

hallucinations dancing painfully shades of brown taunt me

send help or coffee soon or may not make it

cant think cant focus cant punctuate

anguish thirst unsatisfied running on fumes sputtering

hot coffee on the horizon or is it a mirage

like a fish out of water drowning in air

flopping

writhing

fading

Paws for concern

A brief note:

To friends of the blog who took the bait and believed my April 1st email in which I announced my retirement from blogdom, my sincerest apologies for any psychological or medical inconveniences you may have incurred. Also, kind thanks to those of you who wrote me kind notes urging me to continue blogging.

____________________

... and now for the post

Watson and I went for a walk this morning in the heavyish rain. Halfway around the block, he started limping like he does when his paws get too cold in the snow. We stopped, and I saw a big splinter in his toe. I tried to take it out on the spot, but it was too wet and he was too squirmy, so we hobbled home, where I managed to extract the bloody splinter from his ailing paw. He released a few bloodcurdling yelps while I tweezed. Initially, he was angry at me; he believed I was causing him this pain. But we're cool now-- it wasn't long before he was engaging in a pain-free spree 'round the house.

Watson said that as a reward for my heroic rescue effort, I should get a Starbucks coffee and a McDonald's sandwich for breakfast. I protested, but he insisted, said it would be his treat. Turned out that by "his treat", he meant the Starbucks lady would give him a treat. What a sneaky dog. I guess he deserved the biscuit, though, after his paw pain. He thought he might never trot again.

The prestigious burrito

I recently visited Yale University. You may have heard of it. It's quite a prestigious school, really, sometimes called "the Grove City College of the Ivy League".

I walked the grounds and was awestruck by the mystique of the campus... the old buildings, the secret societies, the really smart people.... and I was hungry. In front of me, at the edge of campus, outside of what appeared to be a trendy coffee shop was a street burrito vendor. Involuntarily, I shelled out $5.50 for a juicy, drippy, stuffed chicken burrito.

I continued my tour of the elite campus, munching on my burrito as if it were an ice cream cone, chicken juices dripping onto my shoes. It didn't dawn on me until I took my last bite that people had been staring at the wide-eyed open-mouthed guy with the oversized burrito traversing the hallowed Yale walkways. I wiped the last bit of cheese from the corner of my mouth when I realized that Yalies don't walk around chomping on burritos; they sipped lattes.

I was the country mouse visiting the big city for the first time. Yale majors on delicacy and sophistication. I'm a burrito noshing juggernaut.