The produce section of our grocery store has useful descriptions printed on cards above each variety of edible vegetation. For instance, naval oranges are "seedless and easy to eat". Jalapeno peppers are "delicious in salsas", and mangoes are "sweet and pulpy."
Novice that I am in all matters vegetarian, these twitterish descriptions were quite helpful the other night as I ricocheted semi-stochastically from one plant product to the next, warily collecting the (mostly green) items on my shopping list prepared by the wife.
While I may be inexperienced in the ways of cabbages, onions, and serrano chili peppers, I am no stranger to the strange and wonderful bulbousness of garlic. I appreciate a good garlic naan (and hyperbolic vegetable characterization) as much as the next guy, but even I was dubious when I read the description: "can be used in any recipe".
Seems a bold claim: "any recipe". Garlic in salsa? Of course. Pizza sauce? Oh yeah. Fruit salad? Perhaps. Chili? Why not? Sure, garlic can be used in "any recipe" in the strictest sense of the description, but I'm betting 2-1 against this anti-vampiric being a welcome additive to Grandma's lemon fluff dessert or the wife's strawberry pie.
But, as Aunt Josephine was fond of repeating, "To each his[/her] own." Just don't kiss me after enjoying your garlic-spiked lemonade.
Showing posts with label grocery shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grocery shopping. Show all posts
Friday, July 10, 2009
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Oh Cap'n! My Cap'n!
Dear Wife,
First, I would like to sincerely thank you for all of your hard work—your clothes laundering, dish washing, (really spicy) chili cooking, chocolate chip oatmeal cookie baking, dog-hair vacuuming, and grocery shopping. Your dedication to the smooth functioning of our household is very much appreciated and has not gone unnoticed.
There is something, however, I need to tell you. I am sorry to have to confront you in this venue, but I thought the blow might be softened if we were in the company of many anonymous and non-anonymous blog-reading friends.
There is one crucial fact of life that it is time for you to learn. I had hoped when we got married that your parents would have taught you, but I am prepared to take the helm of your educational development for this teaching moment. Sweet, dear, loving, warm, beautiful wife, there is something you need to know:
Peanut Butter Crunch is NOT the same as Cap’n Crunch.
Sure, they both have the Cap’n on the cereal box, but these two cereals are as fundamentally different as Rice Chex and Wheat Chex—two completely different animals. Cap’n Crunch consists of textured rectangular yellow bits of crisp sweetened corn goodness, while Peanut Butter Crunch bits are smooth, puffed spheres of peanut butter. I poured the cereal in the dark kitchen, and thus didn’t carefully inspect the packaging. Surely, you can imagine my surprise upon inserting that first spoonful into my mouth.
Listen, I don’t blame you for purchasing the wrong Crunch. If anything, I blame myself for assuming you knew the difference. I can certainly understand how such an error in judgment could befall a newbie Crunchaholic when confronted with the panoply of Crunches in the cereal aisle: Cap’n Crunch, Crunch Berries, Peanut Butter Crunch, Choco Crunch, Chocolatey Peanut Butter Crunch, and Christmas Crunch (not to mention the generic imitations). Your childhood was obviously a disadvantaged one, and I love you all the more for it. For my part, I commit to you that I will no longer take it for granted that you are as well-versed in the ins and outs of sugar cerealdom as I am when we write a shopping list.
Love forever,
Your husband
P.S. Please don’t return the Peanut Butter Crunch to the store. I’ll suffer through it.
* For an expansion upon this post's title, please click here.
First, I would like to sincerely thank you for all of your hard work—your clothes laundering, dish washing, (really spicy) chili cooking, chocolate chip oatmeal cookie baking, dog-hair vacuuming, and grocery shopping. Your dedication to the smooth functioning of our household is very much appreciated and has not gone unnoticed.
There is something, however, I need to tell you. I am sorry to have to confront you in this venue, but I thought the blow might be softened if we were in the company of many anonymous and non-anonymous blog-reading friends.
There is one crucial fact of life that it is time for you to learn. I had hoped when we got married that your parents would have taught you, but I am prepared to take the helm of your educational development for this teaching moment. Sweet, dear, loving, warm, beautiful wife, there is something you need to know:
Peanut Butter Crunch is NOT the same as Cap’n Crunch.
Sure, they both have the Cap’n on the cereal box, but these two cereals are as fundamentally different as Rice Chex and Wheat Chex—two completely different animals. Cap’n Crunch consists of textured rectangular yellow bits of crisp sweetened corn goodness, while Peanut Butter Crunch bits are smooth, puffed spheres of peanut butter. I poured the cereal in the dark kitchen, and thus didn’t carefully inspect the packaging. Surely, you can imagine my surprise upon inserting that first spoonful into my mouth.
Listen, I don’t blame you for purchasing the wrong Crunch. If anything, I blame myself for assuming you knew the difference. I can certainly understand how such an error in judgment could befall a newbie Crunchaholic when confronted with the panoply of Crunches in the cereal aisle: Cap’n Crunch, Crunch Berries, Peanut Butter Crunch, Choco Crunch, Chocolatey Peanut Butter Crunch, and Christmas Crunch (not to mention the generic imitations). Your childhood was obviously a disadvantaged one, and I love you all the more for it. For my part, I commit to you that I will no longer take it for granted that you are as well-versed in the ins and outs of sugar cerealdom as I am when we write a shopping list.
Love forever,
Your husband
P.S. Please don’t return the Peanut Butter Crunch to the store. I’ll suffer through it.
* For an expansion upon this post's title, please click here.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Warning: This could happen to you
My blog serves many purposes... one of which is to pass on nuggets of wisdom I have found over the course of my few years on this earth... most of which I have learned through the course of my own folly. What follows is no exception.
If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be this: Don't grocery shop while hungry. In my own depraved logic, I believed that this was in fact a good idea-- that my hunger would somehow more clearly guide me to those food items my body really needed. This turned out not to be the case.
I entered our local Giant Eagle on a post-vacation 'emergency grocery run,' with a very limited shopping list of the bare essentials: milk, carrots, apples, orange juice. I left with a somewhat larger collection of edibles: skim milk; baby-cut carrots; 3 red delicious apples; chocolate milk (low-fat); diet black cherry vanilla coke; ice cream sandwiches; chicken, broccoli, and cheese lean pockets; chocolate and peanut butter Chex mix (small bag); cheddar Chex mix (large bag); garden salsa Sun Chips; everything bagel chips; garlic bagel chips; lite Caesar salad mix; peach fruit bowls; low-fat Oreos; low-fat yogurt; and chocolate and vanilla cupcakes (3 of each). It all looked so good, and I was just so hungry.
I forgot the orange juice.
I am passing this on to my readers. I wish someone had passed this advice on to me: Don't shop on an empty stomach.
Originally Posted: Tuesday, November 30, 2006
(Then) Curent Mood: satiated
http://blog.myspace.com/yajeev
If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be this: Don't grocery shop while hungry. In my own depraved logic, I believed that this was in fact a good idea-- that my hunger would somehow more clearly guide me to those food items my body really needed. This turned out not to be the case.
I entered our local Giant Eagle on a post-vacation 'emergency grocery run,' with a very limited shopping list of the bare essentials: milk, carrots, apples, orange juice. I left with a somewhat larger collection of edibles: skim milk; baby-cut carrots; 3 red delicious apples; chocolate milk (low-fat); diet black cherry vanilla coke; ice cream sandwiches; chicken, broccoli, and cheese lean pockets; chocolate and peanut butter Chex mix (small bag); cheddar Chex mix (large bag); garden salsa Sun Chips; everything bagel chips; garlic bagel chips; lite Caesar salad mix; peach fruit bowls; low-fat Oreos; low-fat yogurt; and chocolate and vanilla cupcakes (3 of each). It all looked so good, and I was just so hungry.
I forgot the orange juice.
I am passing this on to my readers. I wish someone had passed this advice on to me: Don't shop on an empty stomach.
Originally Posted: Tuesday, November 30, 2006
(Then) Curent Mood: satiated
http://blog.myspace.com/yajeev
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