Showing posts with label public health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label public health. Show all posts

Monday, May 11, 2009

The Other White Meat Flu

The dreaded H1N1 virus has finally reached my fine town of Hartford, Connecticut. As a public service, I encourage fellow Connecticutians to avoid all superfluous human contact. If you find it absolutely necessary to interact with others, please take precaution.

Here are a few helpful tips:

  • Hold your breath.
  • Avoid excessive fistbumping and high fiving.
  • Keep kosher.
  • No wallowing.
  • Do not share straws with strangers.
  • Refrain from trough feeding.
  • Keep your windows closed and air conditioners oriented toward the outdoors.
  • Maintain a safe distance from all who oink maniacally, as I suspect this may be an early and too often undiagnosed indicator of swine flu infection.
  • Keep it tuned to the Land of Yajeev, your voice of reason in uncertain times of public health crisis.


Click the thumbnail image for H1N1 virus at low magnification:



Click the thumbnail image for H1N1 virus at ultra-high magnification: