Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Three tips for relationship preservation in the New Year

Here's some unsolicited advice for Land of Yajeev readers to usher in the new year.

  1. If you find yourself sitting with a group at a breakfast (or lunch or dinner) table and your spouse is discussing the recent home improvement projects he or she has recently undertaken without your assistance and he or she comments on the extensive effort and time invested in said projects... do not reply by saying, "Actually, it didn't take you that long," even if you meant to minimize the inconvenience rendered by his or her work and not to minimize his or her effort.
  2. If you find yourself sitting with a group at a dinner (or breakfast or lunch) table and your spouse is retelling a humorous story or a joke that you may have heard once before... do not show off your impressive memory by interrupting said story or joke and reciting the punch line of the story or joke in question.
  3. If you find yourself at a card table and you are playing euchre with your spouse against his or her parents and you have a really crummy hand and your team has already lost two of the five available tricks in the given round of said euchre game ... do not inspire false hope in your spouse by saying you are sure to pick up the last three tricks without making it abundantly clear that you are using the literary device known in some circles as sarcasm.
Follow these words of wisdom and you will go far... at the very least, you will find yourself far, far from the living in the doghouse or sleeping on the sofa.


Avery Gray said...

If only I'd read these words of wisdom earlier. *sigh*

yajeev said...

avery, it may be too late to save yours or mine, but hopefully these words will save some relationship somewhere.