Sunday, February 10, 2008

Grand Opening of the Land of Yajeev Megastore

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of all ages...

Our economy has seen prettier days. Right now, Congress and the White House are hustling and bustling about Washington in an attempt to right the ship that is the receding United States economy. I'm afraid to say that we cannot depend on the federal government alone to steer the American financial system in the right direction.

But do not despair, my friends. I've got your economic stimulus package right here. Tonight, I proudly unveil the Land of Yajeev Megastore! The demand has never been higher, and I have the opportunity and duty to provide the supply to match.

This is no joke, fair readers. Finally, you can now purchase a wide variety of Land of Yajeev paraphernalia at the Land of Yajeev Megastore hosted by Cafe Press!

Here is just a sampling of what can be found at the Megastore.

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and if you still haven't gotten your sweetheart that special something, may I recommend to you the I Heart Yajeev t-shirt. Available in three different colors and in sizes ranging from small to 4x-large, this t-shirt is the perfect gift for the blog aficionado in your life. Listen: the "classic" (read: "cliched") Valentine's Day gifts of flowers and candies are temporary--here today and gone tomorrow. But a 100 % cotton shirt that says I Heart Yajeev? That's here to stay (and so are I Heart Yajeev sweatshirts and long-sleeve tees).

If shirts aren't your significant other's thing, do not despair, because the store has much, much more to offer. Ride in style with the official I Heart Yajeev bumper sticker.

The cuddly and lovable I Heart Yajeev teddy bears are sure to be a hit with the younger crowd of Land of Yajeev readers. At eleven inches tall and covered in soft plush fur, you can't go wrong gifting this bear to the one you love. This one should be very popular--I wouldn't be surprised if, in a few months' time, stuffed bears became widely known as yajeev bears.

Need some help sprucing up your living quarters? The Land of Yajeev Megastore is here to meet your interior design needs. You can purchase the sleek I Heart Yajeev wall clock... you'll always know what time it is: Yajeev time! Couch looking a little drab? Give it some life with the I Heart Yajeev throw pillow!

But wait, there's more! Are you looking for a convenient way to keep the sun from getting in your eyes while proclaiming to the world your fervent devotion to the Land of Yajeev? I thought you might be. You just might feel a heck of a lot better wearing the Yajeev ball cap.

Now, I recognize that my blog appeals to readers of all social classes, rich and poor. For those who desperately desire to get their hands on cool Yajeev gear but don't want to drop a ton of dough, I have great news for you. You can sport a trendy I Heart Yajeev button for just $1.99-- barely the price of a large McDonald's coffee. You can also buy an eight-pack of I Heart Yajeev postcards to send to your closest friends and family!

Lest you think the Land of Yajeev Megastore design artists and shopkeepers suffer from lack of creativity, please acquaint yourselves with the blockbuster-to-be Mishaps Happen line of Land of Yajeev merchandise. Exclusively designed for the Megastore by my lovely and talented wife, you will spend hours reliving all of the wonderful mishaps and pratfalls detailed here at the Land of Yajeev. You can purchase the Mishaps Happen refrigerator magnet for just $3.49! That's right--for less than four dollars, you can have a piece of the Land of Yajeev with you in your kitchen at all times.

Do you or someone you love want to avoid mishaps while cooking out on the grill? If you answered affirmatively, the Mishaps Happen BBQ apron is the appropriate Yajeev apparel for you or yours. Not only will you stay clean while grilling burgers, brats, and dogs, but you'll look good doing it! Trust me--you won't have to wear one of those goofy "Kiss the Cook" aprons. This'll do the trick! It's no Men's Warehouse, but you are going to like the way you look. I guarantee it.

Have you always wanted a convenient way to carry around your printouts of the Land of Yajeev blog posts? Your prayers have been answered with this stunning Mishaps Happen tote bag. Now you can go ahead: print 'em out and stick 'em in. You can conveniently transport and read the Land of Yajeev bloggings wherever you go--no internet connection required!

Finally, I haven't forgotten about the animal lovers among my readership. Too embarrassed to dress your dog in a doggy sweater on blustery winter days? Take heart, for now your pooch can stay warm and look good, too. Available in a range of sizes from small to 2x-large, the Yajeev's Dog shirt features a mugshot of Watson Steve, Yajeev's Dog. If the Yajeev's Dog shirts catch on, you can expect a wider array of clothing for your cats, gerbils, parrots, and goldfish in the coming months.

Listen folks, this is just the beginning! The Land of Yajeev Megastore will be expanding its designs and product selection. If you have any ideas for Yajeev-themed materials, please feel free to drop me a line. I will soon announce details for a t-shirt design contest--the winning design will be featured at the store.

I apologize for the length of time that has transpired between this and my last post. I hope that I have made it up to you with this news and the opportunity to own a piece of the Land of Yajeev.

I must offer many, many thanks to Grant of UsGuys fame for opening my eyes to this American Dream.

Happy shopping!


Russ Parker said...

Gotta have it!

Avery Gray said...

Funny that you should mention it. I've had an intense desire lately to proclaim my love for the Land of Yajeev to the world, but in such a way that I would not have to interact with anyone in any way. It's like you read my mind!

Good luck with your store. It's sure to be a huge success!

Mike said...

But, what do I buy after I buy all of these items? Like many in the blogosphere, I long for the Land of Yajeev supermarket/mall where I can buy all of my goods. Product, meats, tampons, etc. Brand my life.

yajeev said...

russ, avery, and mike...
your enthusiasm is encouraging, and yet when i log into the land of yajeev megastore it tells me that there have been zero purchases. that can't be right. there must be some kind of mistake or lag time.

...and, mike, you can't expect me to roll everything out at once. this will be a phased introduction, check back often for updates and specials. like today: i just added the mishaps happen mouse pad.

you must know someone on the inside, because yajeev meats are on their way! we're also currently in talks for developing a land of yajeev theme park... and, i'd love to do a sitcom. it's so easy, even a caveman could do it. it would be the best sitcom ever: i'd be a time-traveling blogger whose tagline is "i'm from the future and i have a message for you." the cast will have to complete difficult challenges which often result in humiliating mishaps and their being kicked off the show. The funny would be all over this thing.

yajeev said...

i take it back... the first purchases have been made!

keep those credit cards handy, friends... baby needs a new pair of shoes!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Yajeev! What a way to boost family income! The doggy shirt is sooo cute with our grandpuppy immortalized! And the mishap list, well, it goes on and on. (Can it be added to as more mishaps occur?!) I can see the hand of creative wife! Good luck on the new venture!

Anonymous said...

Oh and the doggy t-shirt almost (not all the way, just almost) makes me want a dog!

Trevor said...

What about some Dominic the Donkey designs for christmas? Or some slightly "toasted" socks?

Grant said...

Thanks for the shout out! I'm glad to see you are also doing your part to help the economy. One day Yajeev and Us Guys clothing will be a status symbol much like Dolce & Gabbana. Until then keep on blogging!

yajeev said...

i'm thinking the mishaps Hhappen collection may need an annual update with all new mishaps... stay tuned for land of yajeev mishaps happen 2009 gear.

all designs are welcome--feel free to submit a burnt sock design. alternatively, i could market singed t-shirts.

the way i see it, contributing to the greedy, american, capitalist market machine is not an option for a patriotic citizen. you and are members of the same army.

Christina said...

That's amazing. Can anyone tell me how to put website products in cafepress. I am selling suits and I think cafepress will me to promote my products.