Land of Yajeev: The Early Years

Have you ever wished you could have a hardcopy of the Land of Yajeev for posterity or in preparation for the unlikely eventuality that the internet goes out of style? Ever hanker for the wit and wisdom of Yajeev but couldn’t find a portal of entry to cyberspace? Do you long to read this blog while sitting on the john? Are you tired of draining precious ink cartridges printing Land of Yajeev posts?

My friends, if you answered “yes” to zero or more of these questions, then your wildest dreams have indeed come true. The Land of Yajeev is now available in book form! For my birthday, the wife spent hours upon hours compiling and editing the first two years of posts and comments of the Land of Yajeev and has packaged them into a slim 400-page hardcover or (more modestly priced) paperback volume now available for purchase at the brand new Land of Yajeev Mega-Bookstore. Perfect for display on coffee tables to impress your guests or to keep handy at your bedside, you will be able to enjoy and relive Land of Yajeev posts over and over again sans pesky computer. You can underline your favorite quotes, write in the margins, dog-ear notable posts, or leave your own personal comments at the end of each entry.

It has become a Land of Yajeev tradition (one year running) to make holiday gift recommendations, and I can think of no more meaningful present than the gift of bloggable humor. You will want to purchase copies of Land of Yajeev: The Early Years for all of your friends, parents, offspring, co-workers, acquaintances, mail-delivery personnel, sponsor children, neighbors, teachers, and significant others so that all of your kith and kin can experience the unbridled pleasure that is the Land of Yajeev. Information on book-signings will be posted as soon as the deluge of invitations from bookstores around the country hit my email inbox (any day now). In the meantime, if you want a signed copy, send an email to landofyajeev @ yahoo . com, and we will make special arrangements.

Visit the Land of Yajeev Mega-Bookstore to buy your copies today (and be among the first to rate and review the book)!



And, don’t forget—a panoply of Land of Yajeev merchandise is available at the companion Land of Yajeev Megastore. Stocking stuffers and Chanukah gelt abound!


Warning: You should not consume alcohol while experiencing Land of Yajeev: The Early Years. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery until you know how Land of Yajeev: The Early Years affects you. Insomnia caused by inability to rid your mind of Yajeev is a rare but treatable side effect. Consult your physician if symptoms persist for more than one week.

Yajeev for President Campaign Materials

My fellow Americans (and other citizens of the world), today marks the two-year anniversary and 200th post of the Land of Yajeev blog.

On July 18, 2006, I first put fingers to keyboard for the first entry of what would become my cybervoice. I wasn't sure that anyone other than Russ, Andy, or my wife would ever read these words, but two years and over 10,000 hits later, I have tens of astute readers, a few of which even link to me from their websites!

On Monday, I posted a video announcing the Yajeev for President write-in campaign (never mind that technically I'm 7 years too young--we'll leave that matter for the courts). The groundswell of support has been 0verwhelming, and since no unofficial write-in campaign would be complete without campaign materials, today I unveil the official unofficial Yajeev for President paraphernalia, exclusively available at the Land of Yajeev Megastore.



At the Land of Yajeev Megastore, you will find all manner of reasonably priced Yajeev for President gear, including organic cotton or fitted t-shirts, tough sleeveless tees, junior spaghetti tank tops (available in four lovely colors), kids t-shirts, coffee mugs, keepsake boxes, framed tiles (just what you've always wanted!), ball caps, messenger bags, and stickers.


If you appreciate the unique voice that the Land of Yajeev brings to the interwebs and think it's time to take this show on the road, then please, show your support by visiting the Land of Yajeev Megastore (and recommending that your family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers do the same)!


Making it great in 2008,
Yajeev

Birthday Greetings (Courtesy of the Land of Yajeev Megastore)

You know the dilemma. You've been there a hundred times. Walking up and down the aisle at the card store trying to pick out the perfect birthday card. One that is equal parts funny and heartwarming. You've done this so many times that you can't remember which cards you've sent your loved ones and which ones you've just picked up to read only to return to its slot.

I am here to help.

The Land of Yajeev Megastore is introducing the first in a new line of (to-be) acclaimed greeting cards: the official Land of Yajeev Birthday Card. Can't find just the right way to tell your birthday boy or girl Happy Birthday? Let Yajeev do it for you! Check out for yourself the artsy stylings and clever birthday wishings of your humble blogger. Click the images below for a larger view of the front and inside of the Land of Yajeev Birthday Card.





These cards have been in beta testing, and so far the feedback has been phenomenal, so please do not delay. The price is right, and you get a bargain for buying in bulk (you do have a lot of family and friends with birthdays, don't you?) Tell your loved ones happy birthday. From both of us.

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On the topic of birthdays, I also want to take this opportunity to wish an early happy 29th b'day to one of this blog's oldest friends. Russ, hope your 30th year's even better than your 29th.





(images of russ accessed from his and his mom's myspace)

Another happy customer

Please allow me to distract you from your Shamrock shakes for just a minute to point you in the direction of a fully satisfied Land of Yajeev Megastore customer.

Avery caught the Irish fever and purchased the Land of Yajeev limited edition St. Patrick's Day T-Shirt with the contest-winning design. Please take a moment to click here to see the Yajeev gear in action, read her compelling testimonial, and enjoy the bloggings while you're at it!

Remember Yajeev's Irish-themed merchandise is available for a limited time only, so hurry on over to the Megastore to get yours while supplies last.

Yajeev's Kids

We recently received a call from (now formerly) Pregnant Coworker. She claims to have had her baby on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2008. While mother and baby are both well, something smells foul... and I haven't completely ruled out the possibility that Coworker was afraid of me correctly guessing the date of birth and winning baby (nick)naming rights. I'm not convinced the baby wasn't actually delivered on February 3, Super Bowl Sunday, the day that I predicted the little bundle of joy would enter the world.

Coworker's phone call announcing her special delivery was on February 15, the putative day after birth. When asked if she wanted visitors to the hospital, she replied that she was just too tired. It is conceivable that Coworker is tired after having endured labor... but is it not equally (if not more) likely that Coworker was actually calling from home, her new baby girl now 12 days old?

Let's be clear: I'm making no accusations here. But I am a scientist, skeptical by nature. I'm just raising questions.

But look, I can put pettiness behind me: Congratulations, Coworker, husband of coworker, and baby girl of coworker.


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In other news, one Land of Yajeev loyalist has just sent me pictures of his newborn niece with her brand new I Heart Yajeev teddy bear. The plush toy will undoubtedly support the normal and healthy development of this lovely little girl and provide countless wonderful childhood memories for her and her family.

Please, visit the Land of Yajeev Megastore today, and buy a little something for that little someone in your life.



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Finally, don't forget that the St. Patrick's Day T-Shirt Design Contest ends this Wednesday, February 27, 2008 at 11:59:59 PM. I've already received some creative submissions, and I hope you will submit yours for consideration. Remember what is at stake here: a free t-shirt with your design, fame, and prestige.

Click here for contest details.

St. Patrick's Day T-Shirt Design Contest

It should come as no surprise that the grand opening of the Land of Yajeev Megastore has been accompanied by wild success. We've been open for business a little over a single week, and already ones of satisfied customers have ordered and received their official Land of Yajeev merchandise.

With this overwhelming success as a backdrop, I would like to introduce a new t-shirt design contest that's sure to keep the interweb's airwaves buzzing with anticipation.

St. Patrick's Day (March 17) is nearly upon us, and I would like to commemorate the holiday with a special limited edition St. Patty's-themed Land of Yajeev t-shirt. This is where you, my creative readership, come in. I would like you to submit your design for the official Land of Yajeev St. Patrick's Day T-Shirt!

The winner of this exciting competition will receive a free (FREE IS GOOD!) t-shirt with their own design printed on the front, not to mention the fame and prestige that naturally would naturally accrue to such a skilled fashion designer.

The smallish print:

1. Email your image as an attachment to landofyajeev@hotmail.com.
2. Contest deadline is Wednesday, February 27, 2008 at 11:59:59 PM Eastern Standard Time.
3. Entries may be posted to the blog site as they are submitted.
4. Entries may not contain obscenities or other inappropriate material. Yajeev reserves the right to determine what constitutes inappropriate material. He'll know it when he sees it.
5. No otherwise trademarked or copyrighted material may be included in submitted images.
   
6. By virtue of your submission, you yield the rights of your image to Land of Yajeev.
7. While the opinions of others may be consulted, Yajeev will make the final decision.
8. In order to receive your prize, you must submit a valid United States mailing address to landofyajeev@hotmail.com after your design has been selected as the winning entry. If you are not comfortable with furnishing a snail mail address, the prize can be shipped to the United States charity of your choice.
9. When the winner is announced, the winner's identity will be as anonymous as he or she would like it to be. The winner will choose what name or nickname will be posted on the blogsite.
   
10. Yajeev reserves the rights to change these details at any time, though he probably won't. It just seems prudent to include such a disclaimer just in case.
11. You may submit any questions as comments to this entry or via email to landofyajeev@hotmail.com.
    

Get to it, folks! I can't wait to receive your entries!

Luck of the Irish be with ya, lads and ladies!

Grand Opening of the Land of Yajeev Megastore

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of all ages...

Our economy has seen prettier days. Right now, Congress and the White House are hustling and bustling about Washington in an attempt to right the ship that is the receding United States economy. I'm afraid to say that we cannot depend on the federal government alone to steer the American financial system in the right direction.

But do not despair, my friends. I've got your economic stimulus package right here. Tonight, I proudly unveil the Land of Yajeev Megastore! The demand has never been higher, and I have the opportunity and duty to provide the supply to match.

This is no joke, fair readers. Finally, you can now purchase a wide variety of Land of Yajeev paraphernalia at the Land of Yajeev Megastore hosted by Cafe Press!

Here is just a sampling of what can be found at the Megastore.


Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and if you still haven't gotten your sweetheart that special something, may I recommend to you the I Heart Yajeev t-shirt. Available in three different colors and in sizes ranging from small to 4x-large, this t-shirt is the perfect gift for the blog aficionado in your life. Listen: the "classic" (read: "cliched") Valentine's Day gifts of flowers and candies are temporary--here today and gone tomorrow. But a 100 % cotton shirt that says I Heart Yajeev? That's here to stay (and so are I Heart Yajeev sweatshirts and long-sleeve tees).


If shirts aren't your significant other's thing, do not despair, because the store has much, much more to offer. Ride in style with the official I Heart Yajeev bumper sticker.


The cuddly and lovable I Heart Yajeev teddy bears are sure to be a hit with the younger crowd of Land of Yajeev readers. At eleven inches tall and covered in soft plush fur, you can't go wrong gifting this bear to the one you love. This one should be very popular--I wouldn't be surprised if, in a few months' time, stuffed bears became widely known as yajeev bears.


Need some help sprucing up your living quarters? The Land of Yajeev Megastore is here to meet your interior design needs. You can purchase the sleek I Heart Yajeev wall clock... you'll always know what time it is: Yajeev time! Couch looking a little drab? Give it some life with the I Heart Yajeev throw pillow!

But wait, there's more! Are you looking for a convenient way to keep the sun from getting in your eyes while proclaiming to the world your fervent devotion to the Land of Yajeev? I thought you might be. You just might feel a heck of a lot better wearing the Yajeev ball cap.

Now, I recognize that my blog appeals to readers of all social classes, rich and poor. For those who desperately desire to get their hands on cool Yajeev gear but don't want to drop a ton of dough, I have great news for you. You can sport a trendy I Heart Yajeev button for just $1.99-- barely the price of a large McDonald's coffee. You can also buy an eight-pack of I Heart Yajeev postcards to send to your closest friends and family!




Lest you think the Land of Yajeev Megastore design artists and shopkeepers suffer from lack of creativity, please acquaint yourselves with the blockbuster-to-be Mishaps Happen line of Land of Yajeev merchandise. Exclusively designed for the Megastore by my lovely and talented wife, you will spend hours reliving all of the wonderful mishaps and pratfalls detailed here at the Land of Yajeev. You can purchase the Mishaps Happen refrigerator magnet for just $3.49! That's right--for less than four dollars, you can have a piece of the Land of Yajeev with you in your kitchen at all times.

Do you or someone you love want to avoid mishaps while cooking out on the grill? If you answered affirmatively, the Mishaps Happen BBQ apron is the appropriate Yajeev apparel for you or yours. Not only will you stay clean while grilling burgers, brats, and dogs, but you'll look good doing it! Trust me--you won't have to wear one of those goofy "Kiss the Cook" aprons. This'll do the trick! It's no Men's Warehouse, but you are going to like the way you look. I guarantee it.

Have you always wanted a convenient way to carry around your printouts of the Land of Yajeev blog posts? Your prayers have been answered with this stunning Mishaps Happen tote bag. Now you can go ahead: print 'em out and stick 'em in. You can conveniently transport and read the Land of Yajeev bloggings wherever you go--no internet connection required!

Finally, I haven't forgotten about the animal lovers among my readership. Too embarrassed to dress your dog in a doggy sweater on blustery winter days? Take heart, for now your pooch can stay warm and look good, too. Available in a range of sizes from small to 2x-large, the Yajeev's Dog shirt features a mugshot of Watson Steve, Yajeev's Dog. If the Yajeev's Dog shirts catch on, you can expect a wider array of clothing for your cats, gerbils, parrots, and goldfish in the coming months.


Listen folks, this is just the beginning! The Land of Yajeev Megastore will be expanding its designs and product selection. If you have any ideas for Yajeev-themed materials, please feel free to drop me a line. I will soon announce details for a t-shirt design contest--the winning design will be featured at the store.



I apologize for the length of time that has transpired between this and my last post. I hope that I have made it up to you with this news and the opportunity to own a piece of the Land of Yajeev.

I must offer many, many thanks to Grant of UsGuys fame for opening my eyes to this American Dream.



Happy shopping!