Sliding Scale of Celebrity Doppelgangerness (or is it a slippery slope?)

It just might be the fact that I've lost about 35 pounds: I have noticed a shift in the celebrity comparisons I have received in recent months. In the past, I have been likened to esteemed filmmaker Michael Francis Moore (particularly when I donned baseball cap and flannel shirt). Lately, however, on multiple occasions, I have been made aware of a resemblance to another charming leading man: the Superbad Seth Rogen.

I consider this a move in a positive direction and an incentive to keep losing weight (I can't wait to see who's next on this spectrum of Hollywood lookalikes).


In related news, the wife took me to my favorite wing establishment (obliquely referenced here) for all-you-can-eat wings to celebrate my recent graduation. It is with mixed emotion that I report to you that I consumed only 7 Thai R Garlic wings, 5 Parmesan Pepper wings, 6 Arizona Ranch wings, 5 Cajun wings, and 1 Barbecue wing for a paltry grand total of (drum-roll please...) 24 chicken wings. Pathetic. At the height of my career, I once consumed 72 chicken wings on all-you-can-eat night (which pales in comparison to the 100+ wing my buddy Jordan had eaten that same night). This time, 24 was all I can eat--a three-fold reduction in wing capacity. For additional perspective, the wife only consumed 6 Louisiana Licker chicken wings and 5 onion rings (it's hard for me not to snicker as I type that).



Finally, for those who are so inclined, may I recommend to you the free eatings and drinkings at your local fast food establishments.

Today, May 15, 2008, Dunkin Donuts is offering free Iced Coffee from 10:00 am until 10:00 pm. No strings attached. However, just try to walk out without buying a donut. Or two.

Also, today, McDonald's is promoting its new Southern-style chicken sandwich. It can be yours for free... as long as you purchase a medium or large beverage.

This collective free goodness has earned the fast food industry as a collective unit an Honorable Mention in the ongoing Land of Yajeev Best Free Stuff competition.

Pain and suffrage, or Don't be disenstickered!

Today and today only, if you live in the fine Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, you are entitled to a free sticker that has the words "I voted" with a little American flag.

You know that I am a fan of all things free, and while the sticker is not quite worthy of a Land of Yajeev Best Free Stuff Award, I was motivated enough to drive to my local free sticker outpost (a gymnasium in our local government building) and touch a few rectangles (that had words like "Hillary" and "Barack" printed across them) on a computer touch screen.

I was so invigorated by the whole process that, after I touched a few random boxes on the monitor and a button that said "Vote now", I walked straight out of the gymnasium toward the free coffee and doughnut-for-donation table without claiming my free sticker. Fortunately, I noticed that my wife (whose primary motivation for playing with the touch screens I suspect was not in fact a free sticker) had the oviform decal emblazoned on her sweater. Immediately, (free) coffee in hand, I marched back into the gymnasium and asked for my sticker.

"But you haven't voted yet, sir," the man told me. "If you vote, then I can give you a sticker."

"I did vote."

"Well, then I would have certainly given you a sticker." I wished I had a receipt or a touch-screen print-out to verify that I had already cast my ballot.

"Look, I... I... I touched that screen over there," I stammered, pointing at the voting station I had used.

The man eyed me suspiciously. Meanwhile, a disorganized, murmuring mass of would-be sticker collectors who had finished touching their screens gathered, waiting for their adhesive. Perhaps fearful of the mob turning unruly if they were not given stickers in a timely fashion, the man did what he felt needed to be done to address his problem (me): He reluctantly peeled a sticker from his roll and slowly extended it toward me.

I accepted and proudly pressed the tag to my chest.


Many are those who lived and died bravely so that we could have the right to touch a screen and wear a sticker. If you call the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania home, do your patriotic duty and claim your free sticker today.