Saturday, July 14, 2007

Oh, brother, where art thou?

This entry may be unintelligible to non-MySpace members.

It may also be unintelligble to MySpace members. Oh, well. I tried.

More than just a brother, I have lost a (MySpace) friend.

All I ever wanted was my brother's support.

I told him about my blog, hoping he would read it and leave comments and kudos. After months of prodding, he finally told me he'd read it but couldn't leave any comments or kudos because only MySpace members can do any such thing.

So I did what any good brother would do: I created an account for him. I began accepting MySpace friends on his behalf and adorning his profile with cleverly captioned pictures. I did not just make him my MySpace friend, but I made him my TOP friend. I emailed him his new password and told him with a great sense of accomplishhment that he was now a member of a privileged, if not elite, online community who could comment on and kudo my blog posts.

Whenever someone requested him as a friend, I would email him and ask him if he wished to accept their offer of friendship. One day, a friend of my brother from yesteryear, Fred (names have been changed to protect the innocent), requested my brother's online friendship.

I emailed my brother and asked him: "Your friend Fred has requested that you become his friend. What do you want to do? Just say the word and I will accept or reject on your behalf."

His response was shocking: "I'm gonna have to ask you to cancel my account and I'll open my own when I'm good and ready."

I protested: "What?!?!?!? You can't cancel this one-- you've already got so many friends... like 4 of us: me, Ross, Bill, and Tom [only this last name has not been changed for protection of the innocents]. I've got--I mean--you've got so much invested in this. Look. Yes or no to Fred?"

My brother: "I'm sorry Yajeev -- I'm going to have to ask you to cancel..."

Me: "We'll talk."

Him: "terminate."

So, I did what any guy who had created a killer MySpace profile for his brother that he didn't want to see deleted because he secretly wished his brother would just read his blog and leave comments and kudos: I changed his password and assumed his identity.

This carried on for some time. But the pain festered. I would sign in with his MySpace ID and read my blogs from his account. I wanted to leave kudos on his behalf but I couldn't bring myself to commit that self-deceit. Finally, the facade became too much for me to maintain, so I relinquished his password.

A short time later, I received a note in my email inbox announcing that my brother had sent me a message from his MySpace account! Overjoyed that my brother had finally decided to bridge our technological devide and participate in the beauty that is the online social network of MySpace, I logged in to my account with great fervor to see what his message was. Maybe he wanted to tell me how much he loved my blogs... or perhaps he wanted to apologize for not being more enthusiastic and grateful for my efforts of setting up his awesome profile... I felt like the prodigal brother had returned. It was time for a party.

My giddiness quickly turned to sadness when I clicked on his message only to read the following: "This profile no longer exists." My heart sunk. He had chosen this cruel and unusual way to let me know my efforts were not appreciated and that he no longer wished to be my (MySpace) friend. He then emailed me: "Sorry, man...I need to have the solo thrill of creating my own account."


I remember my high school psychology well enough to know that I'm at the third stage of the DABDA grieving process (denial->anger->BITTERNESS->depression->acceptance). It may be the bitterness I now feel that compels me to air out my dirty laundry in this public forum... the public forum from which my brother has chosen to extricate himself.

That's ok. I know who my real (MySpace) friends are: you, my readers, commenters, kudoers. And especially Tom, who makes all of this possible. You are my (MySpace) friends, my (MySpace) brothers and (MySpace) sisters.

Originally Posted: Tuesday, March 10, 2007
(Then) Curent Mood: Originally in denial, then angry, now just bitter


Anonymous said...

nice post pal

Posted by Russ on Saturday, March 10, 2007 at 8:50 AM

Anonymous said...

This blog was worth the wait...sorry for my impatience. If i could, i would gladly renew my vj blog subscription at any time. But fortunately for everyone, it never runs out. nicely done.

Posted by Beth Minnery on Saturday, March 10, 2007 at 4:01 PM

Anonymous said...

Standing O(-job)

Posted by DoF on Sunday, March 11, 2007 at 7:32 PM

Anonymous said...

La. How sinful.

Posted by Russ on Tuesday, March 13, 2007 at 4:52 PM