Saturday, July 14, 2007

Not for consumption

Today, Lisa made two deserts: a strawberry pie for our own consumption and a strawberry jello pretzel salad for her co-workers to enjoy during a birthday party at work on Monday.

Also, today, I went grocery shopping and returned home with a panoply of edibles (as is not uncommon for a shopper such as myself--see blog for November 30, 2006).

So the stage is set: a refrigerator filled to near overflowing with recent purchases and culinary creations. On the top shelf, among countless other items, are the strawberry pie (for our own consumption), milk, and salad dressing. The strawberry jello pretzel salad (for her co-workers to enjoy during a birthday party at work on Monday) can be found in the bottom shelf milieu of goods.

After dinner (a delicous shrimp fra diavolo, also prepared by Lisa), Lisa was kind enough to serve us both some desert: we each had a slice of strawberry pie (which had, of course, been created for the express purpose of our own consumption). Topped with a dollop of fat-free Cool Whip, it was an utterly delectable desert, so delightful, in fact, that I decided upon seconds. "No, honey," I said. "I'll get it myself." (Foreshadowing: I have since come to regret these words.)

I gracefully emerged from my recliner, approached the refrigerator wtih aplomp, opened the door, reached for the pie, and, in a rare spasm of dyskinesia, jostled the salad dressing while my hand was en route to the strawberry pie (created for own consumption).

The dressing wobbled, forward, then back. And, then, it took the fateful swivel and tilted sideways. The bottle moved in slow motion, yet it all happened to so fast. Before I could correct my error, the thousand islands teetered off the edge of the top shelf and plummeted. The plummeting ended with a muffled plop. Before the visual stimulus before me could traverse my optic chiasm, I knew what I had done. I had caused the dressing to fall from its perch next to the strawberry pie (which was for own consumption) into (not next to or in front of, but smack dab into the middle of) the strawberry jello pretzel salad (prepared for her co-workers to enjoy during a birthday party at work on Monday).

The strawberry jello pretzel salad (which had been intended for her co-workers to enjoy during a birthday party at work on Monday) could no longer be served to her co-workers to enjoy during a birthday party at work on Monday... and, disfigured (but still delicious) is now for our own consumption.

Lisa has graciously forgiven me. I feel just awful.

I'm going to get some more.



Originally Posted: Tuesday, May 19, 2007
(Then) Curent Mood: full
http://blog.myspace.com/yajeev

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Irvingesque.

Posted by Russ on Saturday, May 19, 2007 at 7:32 PM

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